After a long (four years, but who’s counting) hiatus, I’m attempting to resurrect the blog. This is something I’ve had in my thoughts for over a year, but haven’t made the time until now. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…I’m still not sure I’ve figured out the right formula for creating the necessary time and approach, so I need to see how this actually goes. We all know that one post does not a writer make.
Considering I’ve been working on my “comeback” post on and off for over a week now, this here is really just an attempt to hold myself accountable. An, announce-it-so-you-can’t-drop-the-ball tactic that seemed to work well when I was training for my first marathon in 2009; so I’m trying it again here.
The last time I posted, I left a very personal and emotional story and then proceeded to drop off completely. When the idea hit me that day, I started off writing it for myself; then I decided to share it. I pushed myself to finish it the same afternoon and have it published before I picked my son up from preschool. Maybe not the best idea, but I felt like it would lose something if it didn’t happen that day. I knew it was meaningful to me, but hadn’t realized until the middle of it all just how much it meant and how much it would end up taking out of me. I was drained for days after; but also uplifted. The conversations it started were amazing, and I loved hearing from friends that hadn’t ever heard that entire story. I’ve even had several reasons to refer back to that post with other people since then so, in my eyes, it has held its purpose in several ways – which is all I ever hope for with these things.
So what derailed it all four years ago? In a word: life. Everyone knows how that goes; I’m not unique. However, being a single mom 100% of the time is a full-time job – on top of my full-time job – which doesn’t leave a lot of discretionary time. In all honesty, I was never a frequent poster, despite wanting/trying/hoping to be. I posted a few times a year, but was much more of a “drafter” that would come up with an idea, start writing, get caught up in day-to-day life, and let it go by the wayside. Then I’d get another idea for a post I was interested in and…repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. But I never stopped wanting to pick this back up. Truthfully, I’m always writing…I’ve been at it nonstop since I was six years old…but I’ve just never shared it again – until (hopefully, maybe) now.
What changed? In another word: friends. Over the last two months I had a handful of casual conversations with several friends about writing and about this blog. They all encouraged me to start up again, and most have kept on me about it since (thank you!). The last one happened on a trail run with three lovely ladies at the end of January. I ran a few ideas for posts I was contemplating finishing past them, and realized that there was still a reason to write them. After that, I cleaned house. I went through and removed posts I thought were no longer needed – probably not done with that yet, actually – and then cleared out my draft box. Any old ideas that fell under the “that ship has sailed” category were deleted, without hesitation. It felt great. The overwhelm was (mostly) gone and it was the jumpstart I needed. So, here I am.
What now? I’m still not sure. I don’t want to set unrealistic expectations for myself, so I’m going to see how it all unfolds. That has been my mantra for the last 8-9 months, and so I’m applying it here too. I know I’ll be moving the site elsewhere, but first thing’s first…which would be finishing a race report for the Surf City half marathon from a couple weeks ago. So, y’all can look forward to that 🙂
Until next time…